New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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