I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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