If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
