Define "chronic" masturbator.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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