Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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