So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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