she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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