Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.

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(650): View more from California

Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina

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(214): View more from Texas

Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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(512): View more from Texas

Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"

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(702): View more from Nevada

My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?

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