Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

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  (310): Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused. http://tfl.nu/xlj4
  Replies (17) Good night (1065) Bad night (5220)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ah tequila...

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  (913): You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur # (816): ah tequila... http://tfl.nu/7k34
  Replies (22) Good night (6206) Bad night (959)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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  (972): Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving http://tfl.nu/e1pp
  Replies (13) Good night (4711) Bad night (1052)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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  (+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s
  Replies (14) Good night (1659) Bad night (3453)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.

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  (570): I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless. http://tfl.nu/rrlk
  Replies (6) Good night (3892) Bad night (683)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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  (206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (1185)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile

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  (860): my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile http://tfl.nu/1qzw
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (1559)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1677) Bad night (472)
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  (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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  (707): Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/o39j
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (436)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.

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  (580): And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/h6lx
  Replies (2) Good night (1486) Bad night (578)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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  (910): We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew. http://tfl.nu/c4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (837)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.

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  (434): You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/0jb8
  Replies (10) Good night (1095) Bad night (440)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Why were you not born a dude?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Because god wanted to level the playing field

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  (727): Why were you not born a dude? (1-727): Because god wanted to level the playing field http://tfl.nu/5cfo
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (242)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Someone came in the potted fern

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  (412): Someone came in the potted fern http://tfl.nu/9dts
  Replies (6) Good night (353) Bad night (631)
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  (315): View more from New York

  turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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  (315): turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes http://tfl.nu/o917
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (172)

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