Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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(808): View more from Hawaii

and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.

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(925): View more from California

Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

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(847): View more from Illinois

For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.

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(801): View more from Utah

i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?

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(970): View more from Colorado

He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."

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(620): View more from Kansas

It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?

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