I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.