Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....

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(310): I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited.... http://tfl.nu/l21f

Replies (23) Good night (4158) Bad night (587)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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(732): soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm. http://tfl.nu/dqxm

Replies (12) Good night (4433) Bad night (848)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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(908): This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/5cs7

Replies (16) Good night (1263) Bad night (3674)
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(248): View more from Michigan

either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

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(248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc

Replies (10) Good night (4618) Bad night (1246)
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(954): View more from Florida

his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

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(954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3

Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (1501)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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(919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4

Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (1399)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (954) Bad night (1750)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.

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(647): Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference. http://tfl.nu/9fcx

Replies (7) Good night (2374) Bad night (1260)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.

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(931): My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake. http://tfl.nu/j2xw

Replies (7) Good night (1462) Bad night (688)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself

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(843): I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself http://tfl.nu/cqdr

Replies (6) Good night (1878) Bad night (760)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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(908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc

Replies (16) Good night (1803) Bad night (714)
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(636): View more from Missouri

That dog was the best thing i ever touched

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(636): That dog was the best thing i ever touched http://tfl.nu/rr6d

Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (663)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

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(613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub

Replies (7) Good night (1548) Bad night (431)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.

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(573): I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/e7oe

Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (466)
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(269): View more from Michigan

He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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(269): He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. http://tfl.nu/cm4y

Replies (7) Good night (891) Bad night (308)

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