Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
