kristin has been a bad kristin
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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