Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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