I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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