there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
