I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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