doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
