Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
