my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it because I queefed?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
