I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
