in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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