On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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