bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
