At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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