Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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