I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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