at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
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I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
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Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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