Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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