I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
