Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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