So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
