I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
