A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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