I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
