if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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