yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
