id be glad to
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
