Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
