did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
