my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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