when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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