i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
