There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need water and some morals
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
