Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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