Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
