He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
