Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
