9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
