pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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