I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
