I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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