Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
