I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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