Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
