Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
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Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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