I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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