Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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