the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
