Whod you bang
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
