She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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