dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
