I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
