oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
