Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize