Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
