Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
