She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Im part way to drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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