I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
