she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
