i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
