I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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