Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
