U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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