haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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