My hand turned me down
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
