If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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